Running is difficult. It takes great power, energy, and muscles to push your legs to run fast, especially when they’re worn out. But be thankful you’re not Thomas Hicks at the 1904 St. Louis Olympics men’s marathon!

The 1904 Olympics were big. They were the first modern Olympics to be held in the US, and there were some very good sports, except for the men’s marathon. But once you hear this tale, you’ll probably find yourself chuckling at the absurdity.

First off, all 32 athletes competing were from the United States, France, Cuba, Greece, the Orange River Colony (part of South Africa nowadays), Great Britain, and Canada, but of those, only 14 managed to complete the race. That’s around 44%! That may be because the race was held on an especially hot part of a hot day, water was scarce, and the roads used for running were dusty (😬😬😬).

Then, the race started at 3 PM (as opposed to early morning times when it is cooler). John Lordan, the 1903 Boston Marathon winner, fell violently ill and couldn’t finish. Sam Mellor, who also won the Boston Marathon the year before Lordan’s win, lost his sense of direction due to the dust and also couldn’t finish, but it wasn’t as bad as William Garcia, who almost died because he was breathing the dust kicked up.

The winner, after three hours and 13 minutes, was Frederick Lorz, but was disqualified when it was revealed he used a car to get to the end because of stomach cramps and jogged at the 19th mile to the end when the car broke down. A similar fate happened to Cuban runner Andarín Carvajal, whose story is more wild. He had to hitchhike from New Orleans to St. Louis, and during the race, he stole some peaches, but then ate some apples from a nearby orchard, which caused his tummy to hurt (I feel the pain.) He then took a nap, but woke up to finish in fourth place. One South African man, Len Taunyane, was chased off the course by wild dogs.

But no one was struggling more than Thomas Hicks.

Hicks couldn’t stop or lie down at any point in the race after the 10-mile mark. He was dosed with strychnine, a rat poison, which was used to stimulate his nerves, and that would’ve been a disqualification today. The rat poison was mixed with egg white and brandy. He continued to push on, still, though he was hallucinating and could barely walk. In fact, he had to be carried in the air to the finish line by his teammates, and his legs were still making the running movement in the air! He immediately collapsed after he finished, but was saved by four doctors. He lost 8 lbs. while running the race.

Let this be a lesson to all having to run against our will: just push through! That, or check the track’s conditions.